Hi, my name’s Eric. I’m a writer, actor, musician, and skateboarder living in the north Texas area. Koonagi is a portfolio of my past and current projects.

Thanksgiving/Columbus: Kind of Terrible.

Thanksgiving/Columbus: Kind of Terrible.

Thanksgiving is a weird holiday - mainly because we celebrate the first terrorists here in America by killing as many turkeys as humanly possible and then telling everyone what we're thankful for, which came from the sadness of others (Native Americans). Now, I'm not one of those white people who is about to brag about the fact that they are 1/45th Cherokee or complain about the freedom we currently have. I'm merely one of a thousand voices this year asking, "WHY THE FUCK IS THANKSGIVING A HOLIDAY?" 

What are we celebrating? Well, let's explore what actually happened:

Nina and Pinta

Everyone, for the most part, remembers learning about the Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria. The thing most of us don't know is that yes, one ship was called "Santa Maria", but the other two...not so much. According to historians, documents at that time say that the original ships were named after Saints, until perverted sailors got on them and changed history.  

In 15th-century Spain, ships were traditionally named after saints. Salty sailors, however, bestowed less-than-sacred nicknames upon their vessels. Mariners dubbed one of the three ships on Columbus’s 1492 voyage the Pinta, Spanish for “the painted one” or “prostitute.” The Santa Clara, meanwhile, was nicknamed the Nina in honor of its owner, Juan Nino. Although the Santa Maria is called by its official name, its nickname was La Gallega, after the province of Galicia in which it was built.
— History Channel

Don't Go, Columbus. Seriously.

It turns out, a lot of leading experts told Columbus his calculations(or lack thereof) were incorrect for his journey, but instead of listening, Columbus said:

and off he went.

and off he went.

For nearly a decade, Columbus lobbied European monarchies to bankroll his quest to discover a western sea route to Asia. In Portugal, England and France, the response was the same: no. The experts told Columbus his calculations were wrong and that the voyage would take much longer than he thought. Royal advisors in Spain raised similar concerns to King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella. Turns out the naysayers were right. Columbus dramatically underestimated the earth’s circumference and the size of the oceans. Luckily for him, he ran into the uncharted Americas.
— History Channel

Pythagorus, not Columbus.

I heard every Thanksgiving holiday in my elementary school and Middle school classes that Columbus set out to prove the Earth was round. Later on, outside of school, I read about Pythagorus who lived in 571 B.C.E. Most of the things I, and others were taught in school, were wrong. How does that make you feel?

The credit is usually given to the Greek philosopher Pythagoras and his school, although several of his contemporaries also believed the Earth was round. Almost 2000 years before Columbus was born, these ancient Greeks argued that because the moon was a shphere and the sun was a sphere, the Earth should be a sphere.
— http://www.pa.msu.edu/

Columbus, You're late.

Okay, so he didn't do a lot of stuff, but he DEFINITELY discovered the Americas, right? Umm...well this is awkward. The first to discover North America is normally credited to Leif Eriksson around 1000 C.E. before Columbus, but then, he's not a native american is he? The first of mankind to our knowledge, to find North and South America, were people whose origin can be traced to Mongolia, China, and Siberia about 15,000-30,000 years ago, though this is still being studied. It most definitely was not Christopher Columbus though.

Columbus: Not a Good Guy.

There is no more glaring distortion in the history learned by generations of Americans—in textbooks, in schools, in the popular culture—than in the story of Christopher Columbus. He is universally portrayed as a heroic figure, a brave adventurer, a skilled seaman who crossed the ocean not knowing what he would find, and stumbled on an unknown continent.

All that may be true. But what is missing from that story is that, when he landed in the Bahamas Islands, Columbus and his crew of “good Christian white men”, greeted by peaceful and generous natives, set out on a ruthless quest for gold that led to enslavement, misery, and death for that population.
— skeptic.ca
What [Christopher Columbus] had categorically not done was “discover” anything, as somewhere between 50 to 100 million people already lived there quite happily, just as they had done for tens of thousands of years. On the other hand, what he did was to start a brutal slave trade in American Indians, and usher in four centuries of genocide that culled them to virtual extinction. Within a generation of Columbus landing, perhaps only 5-10 per cent of the entire American Indian population remained.
— Dominic Selwood

Whoa, um. This is sort of something we all have always known, but try and bury it deep down so we can enjoy our meal and teach our kids about friendship. (Hmm...maybe this isn't the best example.) If you would like to read all about what history tells us about Columbus, read Dominic Selwood's insightful article HERE posted on the Telegraph.

Oh, I mean, Happy Thanksgiving!

(BTW: I support holidays as social gatherings and the time we spend with our families, but not the lies taught to children about each holiday. So try and enjoy yourself this year 
with your new found knowledge!)
An Object At Rest

An Object At Rest

How I Would Ruin The Game of Thrones.

How I Would Ruin The Game of Thrones.